Saturday, June 21, 2008

I'm sorry, how many kids???

A couple of months ago, I caught snippets of an interesting trailer while channel surfing. It went something like this...

(camera pans to...) Many kids running around screaming
(audio) "We have 2 six-year olds..."
(camera pans to...) Two smiling parents, one looks kind of Asian
(audio) "... and 6 two-year olds and..."

WAIT! STOP! REWIND! HELLO???

Yes. They have EIGHT kids. You know what's worse than having EIGHT kids? Having your toenails plucked out one by one 2 six-year olds and 6 two-year olds. Yup, that's what they have. It's the 6 two-year olds that's the problem, not the 2 six-year olds. We're talking sextuplets, not just 6 babies, but 6 AT ONE GO.

When PF and I finally caught the show Jon and Kate Plus 8, we instantly felt blessed and wanted to do a rain dance to thank the heavens because almost immediately, our parenting problems became amoebas.

For eg:

1. DN has too much for lunch and craps 3 times after lunch. 1 toddler = 3 diaper changes, 6 toddlers = 18 diaper changes

2. DN is in Toys R Us and is pulling toys off the shelves. 1 toddler = 5 dinosaurs thrown on the floor, 6 toddlers = 30 dino... hang on, I won't bring 6 toddlers into Toys R Us.

3. DN misses a nap and is Mr Grumpy. 1 screaming, crying, melt-down toddler = 1 migraine, 6 screaming, crying, melt-down toddlers = 1 phone call to the adoption agency

So, yeah, phew. I can't imagine 6 Der Nens running around the house, asking for raisins.

Regardless, PF and I are still rivetted because it's amazing how Jon and Kate handle, entertain, discipline, feed and put 6 toddlers down for naps. They amaze me because:

1. They only feed their kids organic food. In one episode, they bought an organic COW. Yes, the entire bovine animal.

2. Even with 8 kids, they still insist on good manners, good behaviour and structure and schedules throughout the day.

3. They are so in love!

After watching one season of Jon and Kate Plus 8, I've come to the conclusion that they cannot be human for the following reasons.

1. They're still alive sane after 8 kids.

2. They even have a sense of humour to boot (unless of course, that's a defense mechanism and a way to block out the pain/screams/tantrums/crying/ whines/all of the above).

3. They don't just look decent, they look good! Jon is Korean-French-Welsh (phwoarh) and Kate is thin. Okay, this is a big deal to me because for a good year, PF and I were shuffling walking around looking like the living dead because DN still kept waking us up at night, and my belly is so soft and floppy, DN sometimes kneads it like dough. -_- (hmm... maybe I need 6 kids to look like... STOP! WHAT AM I THINKING!?)

If you don't want to watch it for all the reasons I've listed, at least watch it for the 8 kids. They are just too cute. :) Jon and Kate Plus 8 is on at 10.30pm, Monday to Friday, on Discovery Home and Health - channel 70.

Imagine this...

... TIMES 6!

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