Laugh or cry?

DN : I got two cars!

Me : I have two cars.

DN : No. You don't!

Me : ...
Okay, this one can laugh.

Me : (lifting DS up by her armpits)

DN : Mei mei is superman!

Me : ...

This one also can laugh.

DN : (looking up at me and pointing at my belly) Mummy! Got more babies inside!

Me : ...

CRY! WAIL! SOB! SNIFF! HOWWWL!

Imagine my dismay when DN said that. He used the plural form too! BABIES, not BABY. It's been 12 weeks since I gave birth and I tell you, I'm sick and tired of still looking pregnant! And PF is sick and tired of me constantly asking him, "Do I look like Big Momma?"

My wardrobe is so limited. I can't wear sleeveless tops because my arms look like honey baked hams, I can't wear ANY of my skirts because my muffin top threatens to overflow and I still can't wear my old jeans. If my arms look like honey baked hams, I don't even want to think of a comparison for my thighs! The only pre-pregnancy thing I can fit into comfortably now are my goddam shoes, and that doesn't count!

I know I'm supposed to be patient and give myself six months, and I guess it makes sense. After all, if it took me 10 months to put on all that weight, it should take equally long to get it off right? Technically yes... if you're a mere mortal. If you're Heidi Klum however, when your baby is 5 weeks old, you abandon said baby walk in the Victoria's Secret Show. In your undergarments! For the whole world to see! Goodness, when DS was 5 weeks old, my undergarments were big, white and 100% cotton. Hang on, DS is now 12 weeks old and my undergarments still look like flags on the washing line.

Did you see that picture of her? I mean, seriously! 5 weeks after giving birth?! And this is her 4th kid?! Give me a break. This woman's either of a different species than me, or... of a different species than me, i.e. NOT HUMAN.

But God is fair. I think I see a hint of a water-retention ankle in this picture. And I think my baby is cuter than hers! Humph!

*sniff* Something smells sour in here...