Merry Christmas!

I don't have a helper at home, but my mom does. J came to live with our family a year after my brother was born 17 years ago. I was 18 and J was 22. We are just four years apart, but by then, it was obvious that our worlds were miles apart and our futures were going to be so different. I finished my A Levels, went to University, went on holidays, dated, got married, went on honeymoon, had two kids AND throughout, I had my family around me. J just helped our family for all those years. So basically, I lived the cookie cutter (and privileged) life. Because J and I are so close in age, I often feel guilty (but grateful) for having so many things and such an fortunate life.

When DN was born, J helped me out with my housework. She was a godsend. With her, we slept on clean sheets, walked on clean floors and wore clean clothes. Without her, we would have lived in filth and smelt even worse! We are very lucky to have J. She is so patient, kind and generous. She has been with us for so many years and seen us through so much, she is like family to us.

About two years ago, J decided that she wanted to move back to the Philippines to get married and start a family. Although no one wanted her to go, it would have been very selfish to make her stay. So we made do while she was gone. And sigh, started living in filth.

So J got married and her husband and her had a little boy last year. :)

Sadly, because of the global recession, her husband couldn't find work and five months ago, she returned to Singapore to work. It was good to see her again after all that while, but I couldn't help but feel SO SAD when I thought about how she had to leave her little boy to come back here. And indefinitely too. How painful must that be? I remember what a wreck I was when I had to leave DN last year. And even then, I knew I would be seeing both PF and DN in about two months or so. (What a wuss!) So my heart aches for J and her little boy. And all the other helpers who had to leave their children behind to work here. It's too sad.


On a recent Sunday, I asked J what she was doing that day. She told me she was going to Lucky Plaza to wire money back to her family because they didn't have enough to buy milk for her son. I stopped smiling after that. Life is so unfair right? Just as J and I have such different lives even though we're about the same age, so will our children. My son started receiving Christmas presents left, right and centre about three weeks ago. J's son will spend Christmas without his mother. My son just went on his fourth holiday last week (and he's only three and a half). When will J be able to take her son on a holiday? I mean, I bought DN his own luggage for heaven's sake!

As a "privileged" parent, providing for my children's basic necessities is a done deal. I am lucky to be able to go beyond that and give them even more. I know how lucky I am, but DN and DS don't realise how lucky they are.

So my Christmas wish this year is this - I wish that my children will grow up to be humble and giving individuals. I wish that they will have compassion in their hearts and are able to put others ahead of them. I want them to take nothing for granted and be grateful for everything they have. And lastly, I want them to give generously and wholeheartedly to those who are not as fortunate as they are.

In the midst of all the giving and feasting with family this season, let's stop for a while and think about all those who cannot celebrate the holiday the way we can. Merry Christmas everyone!